The Great Summer Holiday Plan

The schools have now broken up for the summer holiday (recess, vacation etc. depending on your country of origin). For this particular holiday, I will be partially responsible for occupying and entertaining a small child (species: Homo sapiens) and my aims are simple:

  • To prevent it from becoming bored
  • To prevent myself from becoming bored
  • To stimulate its mind and encourage it to grow and learn
  • To stay sane

To this end, I have devised a cunning plan. Using my extensive project management skills, I have broken down the time available into manageable chunks, assigning activities along the way.

  • The child is on holiday from school for 44 days
  • Which equates to 1,056 hours
  • Lending the child to distant relatives for one week (168 hours) will leave 37 days (888 hours) to fill
  • Sleeping will account for 10 hours a day (370 hours) leaving 518 to fill
  • Eating will account for 1 hour a day (37 hours) leaving 481 to fill
  • Reading will account for 1 hour a day (37 hours) leaving 444 to fill
  • Watching television will account for 1 hour a day (37 hours) leaving 407 to fill
  • Taking to playground will account for 1 hour a day (37 hours) leaving 370 to fill
  • One organised day-trip per week will account for (say) 6 hours per week leaving 340 to fill
  • A couple of cinema trips (hey “Yogi Bear” is on this week) would account for 6 hours leaving 334 to fill

You see, now I’m already down to 32% of the original time with not one moment of boredom for the tiny humanoid.
Conclusion, I rock at child care, what’s all the fuss about?
Now, if only I could fill that last 334 hours.

HELP ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


About Words of Little Relevance

Freelance stage manager; software and web tester; Excel and map geek; Tweeter; Blogger and Cake Eater. Often back-stage in and around Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire where I move scenes, or play with lights or sound.
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8 Responses to The Great Summer Holiday Plan

  1. Stuart says:

    You’ve missed off the vital – Allow child to run around in circles for no apparent reason. This could well account for 200 hours!

  2. unbjames says:

    Take the little one travelling somewhere … never too early to start such an enriching addiction 😛

    BTW, thanks for liking my post over on PoE!


  3. Sarah E says:

    This post is hilarious – you had me laughing from beginning to end!
    PS – Unstructured time is good too… Is it still unstructured of you schedule it in, I wonder?!

    • Thank you. Oh and another good point re. unstructured time. To be fair, the plan is going pear shaped anyway. For one thing, I hadn’t factored in the weather. One sudden downpour during a scheduled playground session last week threw the whole schedule out.And the other day, she ate WHILST watching TV, thus using two hour’s worth of activity in a single session!To quote that respected expert on childcare (Mr. Fagin) “I think I’m going to think it out again”.

  4. rtyecript says:

    I really liked the article, and the very cool blog

  5. Too many youngsters are great at that computer key board but don’t know how to make things with their hands. Projects. Pick one door in the house. Look at the built up paint layers, the dried runs, a dent etc. Strip it, sand it, fill holes and repaint. Some bricks or stone to formalize a garden area. Make a bird house.

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