It occurs to me that I have been rather amiss in my Bloggatory undertakings of late, I believe the last missive was over three months ago and oh, how you have revelled in the stillness of my quill. But since the majority of quill feathers are plucked from either the goose or the already much-suffering turkey, I felt that now, during this season of frantic turkey chasing, would be an ideal time to sneak up upon one of the little darlings and metaphorically wrench a large one from it.
You see my very dear listener, during this self-imposed lexical interregnum, my fingers have not been idle (oh do stop tittering at the back, this is not a Carry On lock in)! No. I have kept by my side, almost constantly, my little red Moleskine notebook. I am sure I must have mentioned that I am a bit of a Moleskine
whore fan. The quality and reliability of their range being second to none don’t you know! Now true, a first glance through the recently penned pages does reveal a variety of seemingly uninteresting trivia:
- The beagles’ email addresses (I kid you not);
- A note to reply to a letter from the highly respected “Polite Society” of London;
- The wording on the side of a highway infrastructure maintenance vehicle which caught my eye by advertising themselves as being perfectly capable of carrying out “Manhole Rehabilitation” (I see the sniggerers are still here);
- A list of the times when my gymnasium would kindly be able to offer me something called “Circuit training” (none of which were convenient, clashing as they did with various dinner engagements and cake tastings);
- My renewed affirmation that the word “forsooth” should be used far more that it is presently;
- A list containing the venues “British Library, South Bank Centre”, “Westminster Abbey”, “The Dana Centre”, “The Wellcome Collection” and “The Science Museum”, being as they are, purveyors of some of the best cake in London whilst simultaneously offering excellent WiFi facilities;
- A reminder to examine in detail the duties and responsibilities of an “Exhumer”;
- A growing list of things to take with me on my next visit to the naturist club of which I am a member (this list including but not limited to such things as “a long screwdriver”, “trellis” and “Wasp-ease”);
- Another list with entries such as “Howard Goodall” (Classic FM’s composer in residence) and “The Pet Shop Boys” (and no I am not divulging what this list refers to);
- And a constantly evolving shopping list, recent entries to which include “MDF” and “Twinings Lapsang Souchong”, or bonfire tea as a delightful friend refers to it – do try it, it is delicious and smells like …. well I am sure you can figure that out for yourselves.
And believe me there is more. But no, aside from these noteletts of sometimes puerile trivia and scribbling, there are pages of notes relating to potential blog topics. And perhaps, over the Christmas repose, I shall make the time to sharpen my quill and dip it into the dross of thoughts which I have collected. Many will, thankfully (and you will want to both thank and heavy pet me for this) never see the light of day (or the light of your laptop screens anyway).
As some of you know, I shall be served my Christmas dinner at approximately forty thousand feet as I fly to the home city of The Coca-Cola Company, UPS and Delta Airlines. Yes I am Christmassing in Atlanta in the state which is the largest producer of pecans in the world, Georgia. Well I say Atlanta, in reality my home for the four day retreat will be Union City, where according to City Ordinance section 10.103, it is illegal for anyone under seventeen to loiter or eat in any public place between 11pm and 6am (12midnight Fridays and Saturdays) and anyone wanting to work for the city has to undergo a polygraph test.
So fear not, I shall not be relaxing in the hotel swimming pool too often, besides it shuts at 11pm, presumably to prevent the under seventeens of the area loitering in it! No instead I shall be thinking of you all and banging my brain to try to come up with something vaguely interesting to say.
So until then, I wish you all a most merry and memorably festive holiday season. May you never run out of mince pies and may your mistletoe antics pay off spectacularly.