In other words, I’ve always enjoyed blowing things up. If, in my day to day life, I come across some article which is inflated or somehow under pressure, I delight myself with the notion that perhaps, just perhaps, I might be able to increase the contained pressure, until there is some sort of very satisfying result. A big bang will suffice, but a big bang and big mess is preferable.
Of course, as a responsible adult, I rarely give vent to my secret fascination with everyday household explosive entities.
However today was different.
I have, of late, become accustom to the modern trend of eating sushi at lunchtime. Several of the local supermarkets cater for this trend and produce a small “variety pack” of assorted sushi. And with these packs, come accessories.
Usually one gets three additional ingredients, in individual sachets, so as to “add to taste”. There is a sachet of ginger, a small sachet of Wasabi paste and a small container of soy sauce, which, for reasons best known to the manufacturers, is dispensed from a plastic bottle, fashioned into the shape of a fish.
The first and last of these are not relevant at this time, but rest assured that they do not go to waste. However following an unfortunate incident with a tube of Wasabi paste during a session of bondage, i now have a slight distrust of this green horseradish product. And so i have, once or twice omitted it from my lunch and left the packet, unopened on my desk.
Today i realised that two such packets, had in fact, been sitting on my desk for nearly three weeks. And things had begun to happen. These tiny little green sachets were positively bulging, with, i assume, bacteria-producing gas. The surface of the sachet was really tight, and i felt that it would take, only the slightest of pressure for the sachet to burst.
In other words, it was a bomb and it had started to tick.
So, a small select covert group of us, went outside with the sachets, some gaffer tape, a drawing pin and a stick.
Having fastened the sachet by its edge to the brick wall with gaffer tape, we prepared the detonator. In this case, a drawing pin, held onto the end of a stick with bluetac.
We started with the lesser taught of the two sachets, just in case there were any unforeseen dangerous results. A sharp poke with the pin, resulted in a most pleasing ‘POP’ and a suitable green splodge on the wall.
It was time for the big one. We donned protective goggles and waders.
This was a mother of a sachet. It had ballooned way beyond its expected tolerances and was ripe for exploding.
We wished each other ‘good luck’.
I was going in. They were all stepping back.
Dollops of Wasabi snot shot in all directions. The ferocity of the bang really surprised us and even made passers-by turn their heads. And then the smell hit us. We had, accidentally discovered the green Wasabi snot-like stink bomb.
The others rushed forward to congratulate me, but then began to slink away again, making grotesque facial gestures.
But science had prevailed, yet again and another successful experiment conducted.